3) The Admission
The following day I woke up with a hang-over and a lot of questions! My husband wasn't there but he had left a note saying "Gone Shopping". I went back to sleep for a few hours, then woke up, had some breakfast and a shower, before I decided to call my husband. When I called he was extremely apologetic and seemed rather embarrassed about the previous night's events, saying he was drunk and repeatedly saying he was sorry. I tried to get a word in edge-ways, but he wouldn't even let me speak. By the time he came home it was mid-afternoon. He said he didn't really have too much more to say about the matter but admitted that for the last year, or so, he had found himself becoming increasingly aroused by the thought of other men giving me attention. I didn't quiz him too much, as it was clear that he wasn't comfortable discuss it, besides, I needed time to take it in.
I didn't know how to deal with this situation. Nothing my mother had said or that they had taught us in school had prepared me for this! My initial reaction was panic. Was he gay? Was he trying to leave me? Was he a sex-freak?
When I look back now, I realise how naïve I was. I had grown-up in a small town in the West-Country, spending the majority of my childhood with my siblings and parents. I was well behaved in school and spent my weekends looking after my pets, playing outside and reading books. I was never a particularly confident teenager, tending to shy away from attention. When boys that I liked spoke to me I always found myself lost for words, or I ending up saying something stupid, so I tended to stay away from boys. I spent the majority of my time with my close group of girl friends that I had known for ever. When I went to college I learnt to relax around boys more and started to get some attention without going shy. I was never one of the most popular girls, but I was invited to parties and went to the pub on the weekend, with most of the other college students who lived in our town. I had a number of experiences with boys, though most were just fumbles. I lost my virginity to boy I had liked throughout college at a house-party after my A-levels. In university I dated a guy for a while, had a couple of flings and slept with a few boys, but I was far from experienced. It wasn't until I started my job and met my now husband that I had ever been in a proper relationship.
I didn't know how to deal with this situation. Nothing my mother had said or that they had taught us in school had prepared me for this! My initial reaction was panic. Was he gay? Was he trying to leave me? Was he a sex-freak?
When I look back now, I realise how naïve I was. I had grown-up in a small town in the West-Country, spending the majority of my childhood with my siblings and parents. I was well behaved in school and spent my weekends looking after my pets, playing outside and reading books. I was never a particularly confident teenager, tending to shy away from attention. When boys that I liked spoke to me I always found myself lost for words, or I ending up saying something stupid, so I tended to stay away from boys. I spent the majority of my time with my close group of girl friends that I had known for ever. When I went to college I learnt to relax around boys more and started to get some attention without going shy. I was never one of the most popular girls, but I was invited to parties and went to the pub on the weekend, with most of the other college students who lived in our town. I had a number of experiences with boys, though most were just fumbles. I lost my virginity to boy I had liked throughout college at a house-party after my A-levels. In university I dated a guy for a while, had a couple of flings and slept with a few boys, but I was far from experienced. It wasn't until I started my job and met my now husband that I had ever been in a proper relationship.